so it seems that i sew it's seams

and make some wonderful print into a beautiful piece of clothing aka my life... my relationship with the cool. did i mention I'm totally and utterly and incontestably falling for a guy that I'm not to sure i should fall for... it like i want him to be the right one so bad that i cant seem to figure out where we are going to actually go. and i want it be long lived sooooo strongly that I'm willing to finally change everything I've been saying i was going to change for it... but my only doubt is where.... where are we headed... where is he headed.. where am i.. all of our hopes and dreams can sound beautiful and grand and that's all they will still be without work effort and time... what if we don't get it... yes.. doubt.. doubt of exactly how long we will stick this out. and exactly how long is forever... can we actually be with each other for eternity stand the test of time. could i have actually found my true love at the tender age of 18... there is always the question of who's better...well he makes me better so shouldn't that be enough... I'm confused right now...i want him to be my everything.. but I'm doubtful if i can... maybe it's what these retarded sex craved niggas put in my head.. or my father.. or my brother... or maybe it's my sub conscience trying to Sike me out of being happy... i do not know


but come the 16 of Feb... if all is said and done.. and all is fine and dandy.. then yes oh yes i shall live with this wonder guy of my dreams... and then from there we shall see what will come of it





... i do believe we will travel the world.. the 13 seas of a outer space intergalactic world... and move the Bahamas when were 60 and live out our days as Caribbean sweethearts taken in the sea...





i do love him .... and falling into it i am... i can only hope it's not infatuation...

well..the same saying as always.
New year New Brie... i am ever changing , but ever staying the same
new guy in my life a good guy, a guy much like me with enough to diffrence to challenge my personality and my intellect and i gett supper geekish off of it i vibe off him and i can honestly say i do love him, quick love is not always good. but belive this time it is serious... but im not gonna hurt ne more i refuse to put my all with out the other 45 % cause see me in him we 10 for the rest of you losers to hate on how good we are... together... and how much we need each other apart.. its funny how you dont know you are missing nething untill you find it
we'll see where that goes

other news:
graphic design
fashion design
cometics
business
music

school and work will be a bitch
but like a wise man told me
once you finish something it's in your genetics to finish everything... and better myself i will this year i promise it to me and my higher being that i will not stray from my path... i dont care how normal it is to say it at the start of a new year. i will prosper...

and well. last news... i shaken off all the people that cant hold on... and i getting with people that can

fuck you lames...
i love me

i do miss him....

hmph

before you do nething you have to know where you headed... or where you want to be..
you have to know your destination... if you dont know your destintation... you wont know how to get there
- said by the guy i kinda dig on


so maybe im too young to understand what i should do... but on the other side. im old enough to know better... it's time for a change...the efforts i put forth is no where near enough...
so maybe im not readdy for that upper level nething... im not ready for myself... how are people so sure of themselves... just get it together he says
i hate that man cause i cant love him... but i cant love him cause supposedly i dont try?

hmph....

tear

i love my hair from ever curl to every misguided straight strand
i love my body from every curve to every misplaced dark pigmentation
i love my soul from every ecentric qualitiy to every straight moral
and i love my heart from every empathetic motin to every killing instinct
-gw


it seems to me that im the definition of perfect imperfection and i love everyminute of it
i love how i get when im uncomfertable but no one can ever tell it but my sister my mom or my boyfriend at the time.... and i love how my boyfriend at the time is so intimate with me [and i dont mean sexually] that he can feel my emotion without me moving or saying nething... my emotion just radiates to him... it's something about being close to people that allows you to feel that sensation of knowing them internally

that is all.... for now

i cant believe that everything i've ever wanted has been thrown into my court... its just waiting on my to turn it into my dreams

the crush of the century- i have his number... what do i do with that

my first love- he's about to blow up.... and he wants me with him... where do i go

my first...- he's in my lifee....again... where do i go

the first guy to just hold me and pull on me and follow me like im the only girl he wants- why are we so close so fast

the first time i decided to do something for myself- why am i so scared now that im trying to make it happen

the man who loves me.... he wants me....

i killed it
he killed me
she killed us
my life has died
from the dirt i come up a diffrent person
but my soul never changed and never will
so to that im still in love, im still true... i miss him already,,,